10 Situations – Where It’s Acceptable to Send your Honey Ooey-Gooey Valentine’s Wishes on Facebook

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*You’ve fallen and you can’t get up

*He or she is greater than 50 miles away

*You’re being held captive by Bigfoots in the Rocky Mountains where they just so happen to have a kick-ass wifi signal

*You’re suspicious that they’re engaging in extracurriculars and you need to urinate on the Internet to mark your territory

*A stealth bomber crashed through your living room and the love of your life is on the other side of the wreckage

*You’ve been deployed to Mars

*Every time you post on Facebook a Kit Kat bar and a $100 bill pops out of your laptop

*You have a comfy spot in front of the fireplace and you don’t feel like walking ALL the way down to the man cave.

*Christian Grey has you tethered to a telephone pole and you’re starting to feel guilty… or you’re freezing and you need him to bring you a jacket

*You’re a hopeless romantic who loves their partner and is compelled to SHOUT it from the rooftops (or in stores)… so you don’t puke unicorn glitter on yourself

“I’m singing… I’m in a store and I’m siiiiiiiiiiinging!!!!!

 

❤️ Many of my friends are in fact engaging in this bizarre ritual and for the record, I love those people dearly, but nonetheless they’re all DORKASAURUSES. ❤️

 

10 Reasons Love and Valentine’s Day are not Synonymous

 

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1. Love is not exclusive to romantic couples. Love can include family, friends, animal companions, passions for humanity and causes in general. Loving is a selfless act that does not require an invite. Valentines Day, on the other hand, is often viewed by many as a couples only occasion.

2. Love is a purposeful lifetime commitment; a virtue. Valentines Day is more like the eagerly anticipated celebration you have in kindergarten where you gorge on candy hearts and sugary cupcakes. A short-lived sugar high.

3. Love is the silent acts of kindness exchanged by two or more people that’s not necessarily romantic in nature. Valentine’s Day often resembles a poker game where your hand is a surprise and your expectations are not necessarily in sync with reality. In the end you could end up winning big or leaving with even less than you started with. Love is more of a constant.

4. Love is not synonymous with a couples short lived honey moon phase; on Valentines Day many people expect to recreate a fireworks display so grand, the sky explodes on cue and blissfully rains rose pedals. Expecting or attempting to orchestrate any spontaneous event just because the calendar says so, is a long shot.

5. Loving blends with our every day lives and becomes an effortless endeavor. For some, Valentines Day can be prickly sharp, especially if their significant other has expectations that are unrealistic and/or out of sync with their own.

6. Love is bittersweet. It definitely has its peaks and valleys. Valentine’s Day in all its sweet glory is intended to rival a life-sized gummy bear that’s been dipped in molasses and rolled in pixie stick dust. It can be too much.

7. Love is a beautiful heartfelt emotion that’s free to give and receive. Valentine’s Day is mostly about stuff… even if it’s a fancy dinner; it’s bought and paid for.

8. Love is not boastful nor does it seek public validation on Facebook or Instagram. Valentine’s Day and all it’s materialistic shiny loot are plastered predictably all over social media in an attempt to earn acknowledgement. Insecurity is boastful and needy.

9. Love just happens. Valentine’s Day is a pre-planned event on the calendar that our society is not only conditioned, but pressured into acknowledging.

10. Loving awards one a higher level of satisfaction not found in receiving alone. When you give love it feels warm and fuzzy. Valentines Day on the other hand predictably results in masses of people feeling unloved and lonely, simply because they weren’t pampered within their expectations or are currently lacking the romantic interest of another.

Being part of a couple is not the key to happiness; LOVING within the confines of your present life and social situation are.

The key to happiness belongs to you.

Turn it and be Happy.

 

WAnt-NEed-LOve

Have you heard of WaNeLo?

It’s an Internet site where you share links to material goods that you WantNeed or Love.

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Get it?

The want –  need –  love thing??

WAnt NEed LOve ~ Wanelo.

There. I spelled it out because some people’s have sluggish brains.

My thoughts??

Awesome.

Not.

(Insert extremely sarcastic voice here)

Because, that’s exactly what this generation of spoiled rotten entitled children needs.

More fuel for the WANT furnace.

A means to easily bookmark every. single. one. of their worldly desires in a mere key stroke.

To ponder and wallow over… what they DON’T have.

Who’s dumb ass idea was this anyway?

My daughters list is up to like eleventy-katrillion or some ridiculous numeral that’s more than $10.

No.

Just no.

Screw you, Wanelo.

My motivation for this post was the obvious fact that my daughter is a Wanelo junkie.

I’ve had it up to HERE, so what do I do?

I hop on over to Wanelo to do a little research and open up my own profile, of course!

The plan was to playfully bookmark a few mom extravagances, so I can show her my wish list every time she tortures me with hers.

Misery loves company.

Only, something happened.

I didn’t entirely hate Wanelo like I was supposed to.

Shit. shit. shit.

In fact, it’s rather addicting… in a fabulous kind of way.

Here’s some kick ass stuff from my Wanelo folder I named, Essential Survival Stuff-

Of course it’s all for fun, because  fun is what life is all about… right?

 

Hamster ball for kids or me.

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Fortune cookie lounging chair—LOVE!

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Mermaid tail to splash around playfully and/or do laps in the pool or bathtub

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Empire State Building Scratching Post for TGC!!!

Cat-zilla!!!

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Sippy Cup for Serious Wine Drinkers

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The Worlds Most Accurate Clock.

Gina time!!

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Instagram TP Dispenser

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Human Sling-shot

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Toilet decals bearing very important messages.

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Clapper for Diva #14’s Drama Auditions

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In conclusion, my experiment totally back-fired and now I’m left with yet another playground on the interwebs in which to burn my precious time…

 

And, of course, pretend I’m a 12 year old trapped in an adults body.

 

Which in reality tends to be fabulously therapeutic and relaxing.

 

The end.

 

In the event that you also become addicted, my user name is @extrememomgina. Feel free to follow my outrageous wish list… for the fun of it.

 

 

 

 

I’ll Take the Tacky 6 foot Flamingos for $200, Alex…

I have a Facebook pop-up ad at the top of my newsfeed asking if I’d like to send my husband a special Facebook Valentine cookie for $1.

Who does this???

We have real edible cookies in the kitchen. … Plus, we’re married 21 years or something like a zillion days.

If I want to post a picture of a cookie on his page, I’ll copy & paste it myself.

I’m frugal like that.

Furthermore, my hubinator’s in the other room in the physical sense.  

Sure, I text the kids to dinner every once in a while, but that’s different.

Get off your lazy butt and get your hubby a love Oreo??

Wait. What?

Don’t fall for this, you guys.

Facebook is dumb.

Valentine’s Day is dumber.

I outlawed token Valentine’s gifts back in the stone age… or the 90’s.

The way I see it… when you’re married, you share pretty much everything, so I choose to bank my Valentine’s Day credits to spend on something frivolous when we both least expect it.

“Honey, I NEEDED that 6 foot metal flamingo for the garden. It was calling my name. Also, it needed a friend and $200 was a steal. Love you!!”

PS- let me know if you stumble upon any 6 ft metal flamingo families. Preferably the kind that light up. (I’m thinking, possibly, The Christmas Tree Shop)

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. ♥

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