Activities that are SAFER than using a power drill while your wife is napping. Yes, he did. *Practicing handstands in the shark tank wearing a two day old tampon. *Pirouetting over a mine field wearing a tutu made out of 100 dangling beer cans. *Sprinting through airport security clenching a package that says CAUTION EXPLOSIVES. *Mowing the grass in the tiger enclosure at the zoo wearing a hat made of pepperoni. *Taking gum away from a two year old and saying NO. *Wearing underwear saturated in gasoline to a flame throwing competition. *Acting as the gate keeper at Walmart on Black Friday when the special is $10 iPods *Taking a nap on the subway tracks. Did I mention the wife had a headache?