*You’ve fallen and you can’t get up
*He or she is greater than 50 miles away
*You’re being held captive by Bigfoots in the Rocky Mountains where they just so happen to have a kick-ass wifi signal
*You’re suspicious that they’re engaging in extracurriculars and you need to urinate on the Internet to mark your territory
*A stealth bomber crashed through your living room and the love of your life is on the other side of the wreckage
*You’ve been deployed to Mars
*Every time you post on Facebook a Kit Kat bar and a $100 bill pops out of your laptop
*You have a comfy spot in front of the fireplace and you don’t feel like walking ALL the way down to the man cave.
*Christian Grey has you tethered to a telephone pole and you’re starting to feel guilty… or you’re freezing and you need him to bring you a jacket
*You’re a hopeless romantic who loves their partner and is compelled to SHOUT it from the rooftops (or in stores)… so you don’t puke unicorn glitter on yourself
“I’m singing… I’m in a store and I’m siiiiiiiiiiinging!!!!!
❤️ Many of my friends are in fact engaging in this bizarre ritual and for the record, I love those people dearly, but nonetheless they’re all DORKASAURUSES. ❤️