The World is a Bazillion Shades of Grey- Don’t be Judgy

Posted in Special Needs and Sensitivity by Extreme Mom

Shall we sort through the aftermath caused by yesterday’s spoofy post I wrote called Bite Me Maria Kang?

Excellent. Let’s do it!

The following post was inspired by comments I received defending Maria Kang- the mom who had the audacity to flaunt a photograph of her buff physically fit body in skimpy workout attire kneeling over her three young sons bearing the caption, “What’s your excuse?”

For the most part, the defending statements conveyed a similar message that the comment writer had been motivated by the said photo and anyone who was offended was simply overreacting, overly sensitive (we’re talking about women… no?) jealous and should get off their lazy ass and just exercise.

The comments were absolutely judgmental and I therefore feel compelled to enlighten.

First off, I’m not personally offended by the photo in question. It takes a helluva lot more than THAT to rattle my cage.

I’m completely content with me, and if I had the desire to go hard body I would. This is not a goal of mine at the moment, so leave me out of it.

This post is not about me.

I tend to advocate for the underdog…. It’s a kind of calling that I cannot explain.

I perceived Mrs. Kang’s brassy message as rather bossy, demeaning and narrow minded.

It’s no surprise that her bold tactic offended a lot of women.

My stance is based on my own personal knowledge and wisdom that some women do in fact have sound legitimate excuses.

Scratch the word excuses, as it implies blame and weakness. It’s an unfair word. I prefer the word circumstance: a condition or event that affects a situation.

I speak not for myself, but for the silent masses who do have honest-to-goodness legitimate EXCUSES.

I suppose the veteran nurse in me is speaking.

Different people. Different circumstances. Different economic classes. Different educational backgrounds. Different health statuses. Different mental and coping skill levels. Different family situations. Different genetic coding. Different body types.

Not everybody can push themselves out of a state of mere laziness and look like the Incredible Hulk’s mom.

If you can, I applaud you.

Clap clap clap.

However, please respect the fact that not everyone in the world is just like YOU.

The world is not a fixed environment inhabited by a predictable perfectly cloned population.

Sure, the no EXCUSES mantra may be fitting in a competitive atmosphere like the locker room or gym where there’s a level playing field. However, society as a whole is anything but a level playing field.

From my perspective, I see a planet that’s something like fifty bazillion shades of grey.

In the writing of my post “Bite Me Maria Kang”, I speak for the masses of women whose dreams are unachievable due to circumstances beyond their control.

I speak for single moms working two jobs to make ends meet, who barely have time to cook, clean, do laundry and read their kids a bedtime story.

I speak for those trapped in abusive or controlling relationships who don’t have choices.

I speak for those with mental health issues like depression, post traumatic stress disorder and disabling anxiety who expend every last bit of energy simply trying to muster through the day.

I speak for those with medical conditions for which they must take daily medication that causes adverse effects like nausea or extreme fatigue.

I speak for those who’ve been involved in motor vehicle accidents who have difficulty climbing stairs or getting out a chair.

I speak for those with arthritis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and other invisible medical conditions.

I speak for those taking care of children with special needs or elderly parents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I speak for those with heart, lung and skeletal problems who are forced to limit their activities.

I speak for those with metabolic and endocrine conditions that cause weight gain.

I speak for those whose addictions have stolen their lives and who continue to wrestle invisible demons.

I speak for the masses of women afflicted by a never ending list of challenging circumstances which causes them to chose meeting their basic needs over any sort of leisure activity including fitness related activities and working out.

I’d also like to toss the don’t-judge-a-book-by-it’s-cover analogy in here, to point out that things aren’t always as they seem.

Meaning, it is possible for the athlete missing a limb to be in a better overall position to engage in an exercise regime than let’s say a 30-something seemingly healthy woman suffering from depression and fibromyalgia.

Different people, different bodies, different states of health.

Like Maria Kang, the handicapped athlete has no right to point a judgmental finger at anyone else.

NOBODY has the right to point a judgmental finger in the faces of a society made up of people whose unique situations are a bazillion shades of grey.

Their story is not your story.

You haven’t lived their lives.

You have no right to point or challenge masses of people you know nothing about.

That is all.

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25Oct2013

Bite Me Maria Kang

Posted in Special Needs and Sensitivity by Extreme Mom

What’s your excuse?

Maria Kang asked and Extreme Mom answered.

First and foremost, I’d like to clarify that the word EXCUSE is not necessarily accurate. I prefer the word DECISION.

Excuses are for the weak. There is nothing weak about my personal decision to embrace carbs. In fact, if you swipe my cookies I will kick your ass.

That’s a DECISION.

Word.

My decisions to embrace my soft side are as follows-

I like me… just the way I am.

Seriously, I am good with me.

Plus, I’m married. My husband has seen me a naked size two a couple of decades ago, so technically it never has to happen again.

I’m always cold, so strutting around in that little sports bra combo wouldn’t exactly work out for me. I prefer flannel pants and a sweatshirt. I’m all about comfort.

I don’t want my boys friends coming over to see ME. It wouldn’t be fair.

I’m a solar powered individual who lives in a place that’s overcast 75% of the time, so I hoard my energy reserves for stuff like working, waiting on my kids and breathing.

Damned genetics, sugary DNA… blah blah, blah. My father was the gingerbread man. I live with the sweet results.

I have an adorable lap dog who prefers his sleep number setting on SOFT.

Chocolate is my favorite food group and I’m not giving it up for God, Channing Tatum or ALL the money in the word. Chocolate completes me. It also keeps me from hurting others.

I don’t want to be a showoff. Nobody likes show offs.

Nobody would recognize me, so I’d be forced to wear the equivalent of Flo’s big trippin awesome name tag and there’s only ONE Flo. I have a strict policy that states- no impersonating TV commercial stars. Also, I love Flo.

Furthermore, Mrs. Kang-

Your pre-gravid body was a lean model and a bodybuilder.

News flash.

That puts your BASELINE body well off the curve of normal for women who are the rest of us.

Comparatively speaking, you are not exactly the buff body builder you used to be pre- childbirth.

What’s YOUR excuse?

PS- I want to tell you to BITE ME right now, but I’m definitely not low carb, so instead you can bend over and kiss my ass.

It’s good exercise.

Find my response to the hate mail I received in response to this post here.

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24Oct2013

The Gardasil Vaccine… Just say NO

Posted in Everything Extreme, Health and Wellness by Extreme Mom

How safe is the Gardasil vaccine?

*Gardasil is a relatively new vaccine that was approved by the FDA in 2006 for use in the US as a preventative against the HPV virus which can sometimes lead to cervical cancer.

To date, 57 million doses have been distributed. There have been 139 deaths and somewhere in the ballpark of 22,000 adverse reactions reported.

The question is- how essential is this vaccine and more importantly, do the risks outweigh the benefits?

The answer is unclear and unfortunately, it’s become even more muddied by predictably irresponsible media coverage.

Sadly, we’ve come to expect a certain degree of biased media interference in almost all facets of our lives, due to the saturation of self serving special interest groups in this country.

The result of this never ending flow of biased opinions is that eventually it becomes background noise.

We start to ignore it.

Thank you, over-the-top whack jobs who dispute anything and everything.

I’ve long concluded that most news is nothing more than a smoking train wreck of opinions.

It’s difficult to distinguish fact from fiction. Which is precisely why I feel compelled to research and validate almost everything I read.

It’s exhausting.

“Ain’t nobody got time for… ”

Never mind.

That said- anyone who forms an opinion after reading ONE article or story is a complete moron and liability to society.

I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

So wake up if that describes you. The world is full of self serving liars.

It seems as if almost everything has an underlying agenda these days, which may not necessarily be in the consumers best interests.

As a result, I honestly hadn’t paid too much attention to the hoopla regarding the Gardasil vaccine.

Until recently that is, when I stumbled upon a link on Facebook that lead me to do further research.

What commanded my undivided attention on this particular topic were reports of Dr. Diane Harper- leading international developer of HPV vaccines and former Merck scientist’s very unexpected public address where she voiced concerns regarding the vaccines safety, during what was supposed to be a promotional conference.

It motivated me to dig around.

The evidence left me in a state of hopeless disbelief and validated something I kind of already suspected.

Pharmaceutical companies do in fact RULE the WORLD.

More specifically, money rules the world.

You knew that.

We both did.

The story goes something like this.

The Gardasil vaccine manufactured by Merck Pharmaceuticals is being strongly recommended (pushed) by health care practitioners as a seemingly pseudo insurance policy against cervical cancer for the 9-26 year old demographic.

*Note- It’s also starting to be recommended for boys as a preventative against penile warts and throat cancer.

The “Be One Less” campaign launched by Merck attempts to frighten or guilt young girls and their consenting parents into receiving the vaccine, so that they will subsequently be ONE LESS victim of cervical cancer.

It’s being pushed by your trusted pediatrician without question.

Cancer is bad… get the vaccine and live happily ever after. Right?

Not so fast.

Sure, it lowers your risk of cervical cancer, but first let’s explore a few things.

*How EFFECTIVE is this vaccine against cervical cancer?

*What are your ODDS of actually being diagnosed with cervical cancer in the first place? Essentially, how many HPV infections actually turn into cervical cancer?

*And most notably, what is the MORTALITY rate for cervical cancer?

A Few Fast Facts.

FACTS on Incidence- 14 million HPV infections are diagnosed in the US each year.

The Gardasil vaccine only protects against four out of over a dozen viral strains thought to cause cervical cancer.

More Perspective- There are over 100 types of HPV viruses out of which 40 are sexually transmitted and only a dozen are thought to cause cancer.

Also, scientific evidence has shown that 90% of all HPV infections clear up within two years all by themselves WITHOUT treatment.

Just WOW.

“Cervical cancer is the easiest cancer to prevent with regular screening tests and follow-up.” *Excerpt from the CDC’s web page on Gynecological Cancers- http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/basic_info/screening.htm

In other words, regular PAP screening is more than sufficient in preventing this disease. All by itself.

FACTS on Mortality- 3.5 out of 100,000 women will DIE from cervical cancer in the US annually. (12 out of 100,000 women will be diagnosed)
*2013 statistics – American Cancer Society

Pay attention here- That’s LESS than a 1% chance that a woman will actually contract cervical cancer in her lifetime and LESS than one quarter of 1% that it will lead to death.

To put that into perspective, out of every 100,000 women, 11 will die in a car accident. Therefore, you’re twice as likely to be killed in an automobile accident.

People don’t generally lose sleep worrying about losing their life in a motor vehicle accident.

Reputable professional organizations endorsing the Gardasil vaccine include; American Academy of Pediatrics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), American Academy of Family Physicians, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American Cancer Society.

I mention this to clarify that YOUR physician is most likely promoting this vaccine.

The question is… WHY?

This vaccine seems far from NECESSARY.

Sure, it’s obvious that nobody wants cancer or sexually transmitted warts, but if the likelihood of this is already relatively low, why get injected with something that’s currently under scrutiny for causing serious ill effects and possibly death?

The Adverse Effects can be deadly. The Vaccine Adverse Effects Reporting System (V.A.E.R.S) reports there are currently139 known deaths associated with HPV vaccinations.

There have also been at least 22,000 reports of adverse reactions, which may be quite fluid as many reactions are never reported.

Serious reactions reported include-

Seizures
Convulsions
Coma
Hemorhages
Guillane Barré Syndrome and Paralysis
Pancreatitis
Blindness
Cerebral Vasculitis (swelling of the brain)
Lupus-like immune disorders
Blood clots
ALS-like schlerosis
Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP)

Take another look at the reactions. They are NOT your run-of-the-mill generic side effects like- nausea, vomiting, headache, dizziness, upset stomach, constipation or diarrhea. These effects are quite serious and potentially life threatening.

The victims stories are horrifying. I’m attaching links to several victim web sites for you to review and form your own conclusions.

The intention of this writing is not to persuade you one way or another, but to merely to encourage you to question your choices.

Ethical Concerns-

One might ask WHY there’s an URGENT push to vaccinate?

Why all the media hype, the boisterous campaign- Be One Less… ?

Also, why was this vaccine fast tracked for approval by Merck after only being tested on 1,200 girls under the age of 16?

Most likely it’s the almighty dollar.

MONEY MONEY MONEY… MONNNEEEEEY.

The vaccine is expected to reach one billion dollars in sales next year. Wall Street analysts predict that sales could reach four billion dollars over the next five years.

Is Merck using young girls as guinea pigs for profit? It’s very possible. The bottom line always seems to lead to the inner lining of the corporate world’s pockets.

Cervical cancer is not an imminent threat if you diligently have PAP screenings. This is NOT something that sneaks up on you and suddenly takes your life.

“The rate at which invasive cancer develops from dysplagia (atypical cells) is usually slow, measured in years and perhaps decades. (1)

1. Holowaty P, miller AB, Rohan T, et al: Natural history of dysplasia of the uterine cervix. J Natl Cancer Inst 91 (3) 252-8, 1999

The choice here seems obvious.

*********************************************************************************************************

Please do not lose sight that throughout history, certain vaccines have been integral in eradicating deadly mass epidemics such as small pox, diptheria, measles, rubella, tetanus, polio and whooping cough.

These advances in medicine have absolutely changed the world and saved millions of lives.

This is not about THAT.

This is about creating a questionable nonessential vaccine with a sketchy safety margin that’s seemingly being marketed purely for profit.

Parents –

Question it.

Do your own research.

Stay informed.

Make your own decision.

Do not be bullied by your practitioner.

Higher education was the precursor to their fancy degree.

Common sense and conscience were not necessarily a factor.

PASS IT ON- Even though this vaccine has been on the market and in the media since 2006, does not mean the majority has been properly informed. Every day thousands of new young people become age eligible for this vaccine.

Please spread this important information.

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http://www.gardasilandunexplaineddeaths.com/facts

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/stress-and-health-dr-lind/2013/apr/10/us-court-pays-6-million-gardasil-victims/

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/01/24/hpv-vaccine-victim-sues-merck.aspx

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/10/16/unproven-hpv-vaccine-safety.aspx

http://www.pop.org/content/merck-researcher-admits-gardasil-guards-against-almost-nothing-985

Click to access Death-after-quadrivalent-human-papillomavirus-vaccination-full-paper.pdf

http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cervicalcancer/detailedguide/cervical-cancer-key-statistics

http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/February-2012/Dr-Joseph-Mercola-Visionary-or-Quack/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Harper

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/hpv/vac-faqs.htm

Click to access cervical_facts.pdf

http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancerbasics/lifetime-probability-of-developing-or-dying-from-cancer

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2964337/

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/anti-therapeutic-action/vaccination-hpv-gardisil

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1568997214000664

http://onemoregirlmovie.com/

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gardasil-researcher-speaks-out/

Click to access BSEM-2011.pdf

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21Oct2013

Say NO to Pumpkin Butts

Posted in Everything Extreme by Extreme Mom

Call me a prude and a party pooper (pun totally intended) but I don’t find the new trend of festively painting babies bottoms for holidays even a teeny bit cute.

My moral compass registers NO pretty much immediately.

Don’t get me wrong, baby bottoms are adorable. In fact, I’m admittedly guilty of taking the token naked-baby-on-the-changing-table (belly side down) of each of my newborns when they came home from the hospital.

I also have no problem with tots darting around the beach or kiddy pool in the buff. Any seasoned parent knows bathing suit malfunctions are not uncommon and tots love a good strip tease. They’re practicing autonomy- doing it all by themselves. Mastering the skill of dressing.

It happens. Kids are streakers from way back.

In a family centered environment it’s not that big of a deal.

I suppose my comfort meter alarms over-the-top at the mere thought of anyone restraining (they absolutely are holding them against their will) a baby so they can festively decorate their privates with paint.

It’s not cute.

Babies are not chalk boards or blank canvas for gods sake.

We just don’t paint our offspring for our own selfish entertainment.

Again. It’s not cute.

Worse yet is posting these humiliating photos on the Internet for everyone and their brother to copy, paste and pin to Pinterest where the copy-paste-post cycle will repeat for all of eternity.

Soon enough, pumpkin butt will grow into a child with emotions who’s capable of independent thought and more than likely resent the hell out of the artist.

Way to go mom.

Don’t insult my intelligence by comparing hand and foot prints. It’s not even remotely close to butt prints. We’re comparing apples and oranges in which case, this one happens to be a pumpkin.

My four kids (ages 13 – 20) remain horrified to this day when they view the changing table photos.

And, I do mean HORRIFIED.

I can’t even begin to imagine how they’d feel had I painted pumpkins or Easter eggs on their butts and posted them on the Internet.

I know I’m going to get a lot of hate mail on this one.

C’est la vie.

I’m advocating for the babies and I’m not budging.

It also invites us to open an entirely NEW conversation that goes something like this- when explaining GOOD TOUCH – BAD TOUCH to your four year old… where does mommy doodling on baby sisters bottom or making canvas butt prints fall on the spectrum of what’s acceptable?

How confusing.

Where do we draw the line?

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15Oct2013

Mentoring- it’s not about YOU

Posted in Everything Extreme, Special Needs and Sensitivity by Extreme Mom

Because, maybe sometimes we forget…

If you’re in a position mentoring children whether it be as a teacher, coach, club advisor or scout leader, you must never lose sight of one very important fact-

Your primary duty is to serve the youth you have been entrusted with.

Your mission is incredibly important to those you lead and YOU have a huge responsibility to EACH and every one of them.

As a role model and mentor, your diligent attentiveness to their individuality, your own attitude and personal advisement or lack thereof, could make or break a child’s day, season or school year.

To you, your role may simply be means to a paycheck or perhaps something you were coerced into.

To them, this particular activity may be an important milestone that gets etched into their memory bank forever.

The movie Rudy could have had an entirely different ending or never even been a story at all.

These are important moments.

If you think for one second, this mission is about YOU, your teams record, accomplishments, awards or public image, not only are you dead wrong, you are a liability to the spirit of youth and clearly in the wrong business.

Never lose sight of how powerful your influence can be in someone else’s life.

Use your position… wisely.

Pass it on.

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