Today, I had to remind myself… again

Today, I had to remind myself… again

That every person is as different as an individual flake of snow.

That no two social situations or family dynamics are the same.

That mankind is as unique as the tiny seeds spilled from a glossy envelope in spring. We all sprout in our own time – some of us thriving with little or no effort, while others hold on merely by a thread – under the most carefully controlled settings of an incubator.

That everyone’s brain chemistry and neurological wiring are as divergent as the blades of grass sweeping across the rolling plains.

That there’s no pass or fail in parenting and we’re all dealt a distinctly unique hand.

That an intelligent successful or talented child is not necessarily the reflection of a super parent.

That ALL accomplishments are relative to the individual.

That doing your best and giving your ALL can yield significantly different results in different people.

That doing your best is always good enough.

That the world is a ginormous fruit basket, and you can’t compare apples and oranges

That the outcome of any given situation is not always the most accurate reflection of dedication, diligence, effort and perseverance.

That shit happens.

That sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

That people will always make blanket assumptions and judgements about situations they know nothing about.

That some days this will sneak up on you and leave you feeling defeated.

That whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, validation and positive reinforcement from others are as crucial as the air we breathe.

That the world is a giant kaleidoscope composed of distinctly unique fragments all complimenting one another as a beautiful abstract whole.

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People are like Snowflakes- No Two are Exactly The Same: Don’t be Judgy

 

I’m going to shimmy out on a flimsy unfashionable limb and state that I don’t believe suicide is necessarily a selfish act.

Think objectively for a moment.

Sure, some people have overcome depression, but we are not them. Even if we think we’ve been in the exact same situation, there is no accurate method of measuring this.

Fact- Depression is a spectrum disorder meaning people suffer in varying degrees. Some mildly and occasionally and others to the point of hospitalization where they’re completely dysfunctional.

I call it a bazillion shades of grey.

To speculate that your particular shade of grey is exactly the same hue as someone who unfortunately ended their life- is to make a huge assumption.

Depression does not look or feel the same to any two people.

It’s likely that the person who willfully choses to end their life has in fact reached an entirely different higher level of despair and/or was simply not equipped with adequate coping mechanisms.

There is no precise measure for inner turmoil.

There are however, many documented accounts from people who have come close to this point and went on record to universally declare that they saw no other way to end their intense suffering.

Their pain was that unbearable.

There are probably very few people who can actually identify with that particular level of complete disparity.

It’s safe to speculate that it’s entirely possible that any given suicide victim may have already ‘reached out’, trialed a variety of medications, and/or undergone consistent intense treatment, all while being supported by a loving family.

Every single incident is different. The variables can never be exactly the same.

What made a difference for the young woman suffering in silvery-slate grey may not necessarily put a dent in the symptoms of the older gentlemen afflicted by dark-charcoal grey.

Not every ailment is curable.

Absorb that.

Respect that.

Learn to recognize that many situations in life undoubtedly occur on a very wide spectrum in which there are variables present in a bazillion shades of grey.

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***To claim to possess precise knowledge that can be effected and therefore changed by infinite variables… is to be recklessly ignorant.***

 

 

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The World is a Bazillion Shades of Grey- Don’t be Judgy

Shall we sort through the aftermath caused by yesterday’s spoofy post I wrote called Bite Me Maria Kang?

Excellent. Let’s do it!

The following post was inspired by comments I received defending Maria Kang- the mom who had the audacity to flaunt a photograph of her buff physically fit body in skimpy workout attire kneeling over her three young sons bearing the caption, “What’s your excuse?”

For the most part, the defending statements conveyed a similar message that the comment writer had been motivated by the said photo and anyone who was offended was simply overreacting, overly sensitive (we’re talking about women… no?) jealous and should get off their lazy ass and just exercise.

The comments were absolutely judgmental and I therefore feel compelled to enlighten.

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First off, I’m not personally offended by the photo in question. It takes a helluva lot more than THAT to rattle my cage.

I’m completely content with me, and if I had the desire to go hard body I would. This is not a goal of mine at the moment, so leave me out of it.

This post is not about me.

I tend to advocate for the underdog…. It’s a kind of calling that I cannot explain.

I perceived Mrs. Kang’s brassy message as rather bossy, demeaning and narrow minded.

It’s no surprise that her bold tactic offended a lot of women.

My stance is based on my own personal knowledge and wisdom that some women do in fact have sound legitimate excuses.

Scratch the word excuses, as it implies blame and weakness. It’s an unfair word. I prefer the word circumstance: a condition or event that affects a situation.

I speak not for myself, but for the silent masses who do have honest-to-goodness legitimate EXCUSES.

I suppose the veteran nurse in me is speaking.

Different people. Different circumstances. Different economic classes. Different educational backgrounds. Different health statuses. Different mental and coping skill levels. Different family situations. Different genetic coding. Different body types.

Not everybody can push themselves out of a state of mere laziness and look like the Incredible Hulk’s mom.

If you can, I applaud you.

Clap clap clap.

However, please respect the fact that not everyone in the world is just like YOU.

The world is not a fixed environment inhabited by a predictable perfectly cloned population.

Sure, the no EXCUSES mantra may be fitting in a competitive atmosphere like the locker room or gym where there’s a level playing field. However, society as a whole is anything but a level playing field.

From my perspective, I see a planet that’s something like fifty bazillion shades of grey.

In the writing of my post “Bite Me Maria Kang”, I speak for the masses of women whose dreams are unachievable due to circumstances beyond their control.

I speak for single moms working two jobs to make ends meet, who barely have time to cook, clean, do laundry and read their kids a bedtime story.

I speak for those trapped in abusive or controlling relationships who don’t have choices.

I speak for those with mental health issues like depression, post traumatic stress disorder and disabling anxiety who expend every last bit of energy simply trying to muster through the day.

I speak for those with medical conditions for which they must take daily medication that causes adverse effects like nausea or extreme fatigue.

I speak for those who’ve been involved in motor vehicle accidents who have difficulty climbing stairs or getting out a chair.

I speak for those with arthritis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and other invisible medical conditions.

I speak for those taking care of children with special needs or elderly parents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I speak for those with heart, lung and skeletal problems who are forced to limit their activities.

I speak for those with metabolic and endocrine conditions that cause weight gain.

I speak for those whose addictions have stolen their lives and who continue to wrestle invisible demons.

I speak for the masses of women afflicted by a never ending list of challenging circumstances which causes them to chose meeting their basic needs over any sort of leisure activity including fitness related activities and working out.

I’d also like to toss the don’t-judge-a-book-by-it’s-cover analogy in here, to point out that things aren’t always as they seem.

Meaning, it is possible for the athlete missing a limb to be in a better overall position to engage in an exercise regime than let’s say a 30-something seemingly healthy woman suffering from depression and fibromyalgia.

Different people, different bodies, different states of health.

Like Maria Kang, the handicapped athlete has no right to point a judgmental finger at anyone else.

NOBODY has the right to point a judgmental finger in the faces of a society made up of people whose unique situations are a bazillion shades of grey.

Their story is not your story.

You haven’t lived their lives.

You have no right to point or challenge masses of people you know nothing about.

That is all.

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