Dear School- I Can’t Hear You!!!


EEEEHHHHTT!!!  {{buzzer}}

Times up.
School’s over people.
Return to sender.
Notta my problem-o.
It’s not like I don’t care, but okay… I don’t care.
I’m over this school year. It’s done… fini… caput… It’s history, man.
Dear School,
Please don’t bother me with mundane details. If my kid failed a class, just cut the bullshit and send me the registration for summer school.
Thank you.
Ps- You may not realize this, but this happens to be a very PROUD year for me.
This is the first year since junior high that my spirited lad has NOT received a mandatory invite back to the school for summer detention.
There was the bra episode, the smoke bomb, the locker room escapade, water balloons, the yearbook graffiti… to name a few.
I’m rejoicing.
I can’t believe you school administrative people don’t give out bumper stickers for this amazing feat.
“My kid’s an HONOR student!” blah blah blah…
Well lah-tee-dah….
“My kid evaded summer detention this year!”
Check mate.
Let’s PAR-TAH!
Schooooooooooool’s out for summer!!!

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Dammit Wonderwoman, You’re Late Again

This mornings chaos kind of cancelled itself out.

I love when that happens.

Bittersweet beginnings.

Bad news – Diva #13 missed the bus because I lost her track uniform, which was actually in the bottom of HER closet and took me under 60 seconds to find.

Note to self- stop hiding her shit.

Good news – It was the first time EVER, we were early enough to join the drop-off parade where you get to be part of the curvy  long line of parents delivering their chicks to school.


My favorite part is where you get to wave and shout out the window to the other ugly parents.

The expression on Diva’s face was priceless and worth every  ounce of overpriced gas.

Also, and just in case God is listening, I’d like extra credit for not running down the Vice Principal who was in charge of the parade.

At least I think he was, except he didn’t have a baton or fancy hat.

I had a perfect shot too.

He and I have a complicated love ♥ affair on account of him suspending my son (Big Kahuna’s #16) for breathing wrong… or possibly something more serious like… showing up for finals wearing Shannon’s pink bra.

Don’t get me wrong, I can totally understand how this sort of tomfoolery can be very distracting to the other students, but it doesn’t mean the perp should be marked with a SUSPEND ME bullseye for the rest of junior high.

Or maybe it does.

It did, and it became another thorn in my side.

More Fun Facts-

The school has the right to invite you back to detention during summer vacation if you pull any shenanigans the last week of classes.

You should probably LEARN from this and not do it two three years in a row.

Now that it’s time to wrap up this post, I’m at a loss because it escaped in so many directions.

That happens to me a lot.

Look a squirrel!

Closing FUN fact- the track uniform (that I lost) is a teeny little number- blue shorts and a red tank.

When the girls are all clumped together on the field they look like a herd of mini- Wonder Women.

It’s pretty awesome.






Have a WONDERFUL day.