Swing Dieters

On Monday it’s a photo of a healthy salad with a brag note about their latest diet/workout regimine, on Tuesday it’s a delicious green smoothy with a side of almonds and by Thursday there’s a glossy image of cheesy french fries dipped in fudge.

This type of post resembles a scene from Eric Carle’s The Hungry Caterpillar except the caterpillar is full of shit.

No, I will not be your cheerleader.

The Have-a-Happy-Day Selfie

Here’s a shot of little middle-aged me and my boobs taken exclusively to wish you a HAPPY day. You know… in case you forgot what I look like.

Let’s cut straight through the bullshit – this person is soliciting for compliments and likes. They don’t give a rats ass what kind of day you have. They’re nothing more than attention seeking fb ho’s who need a ginormous bear hug.

I’m embarrassed for these poor girls.

People evasively checking into Facebook from the Emergency Room

Nobody likes a tease. If you’re not going to provide the curious reader with 1.) presenting symptoms 2.) final diagnosis 3.) nature of surgical procedure and/or treatment and most importantly 4.) bonus photos, then please don’t bother.

It’s easier for your friends to pray for you when we know exactly what we’re dealing with.

This post will likely… be continued.

For more wonderfully snarky Facebook themed content click here and here.