Open letter to ThatGoddamnedCat who’s actual name is Max-

Dear psycho-bird-murdering-asshole,

I honestly don’t know if cats can differentiate colors, so I’m going to give your sorry butt the benefit of the doubt here.

No hunting goldfinches.

Ever.

You know those pretty little yellow and black birds that the human-who-feeds-your-sorry-ass happens to be fond of.

Those guys are my friends, dammit.

Furthermore, leaving body parts all over my sacred sun room is just twisted, you crazy fucker.

Stop that.

All birds are not created equal. For example, bluejays are loud squawky obnoxious
fuckers who get their kicks out of bullying quaint little song bird friends out of the feeders.

If you want to impress me, bring me the head of a bluejay, my feline son.

That is all.