The Gazillion Concept

Sometimes anything greater than one seems like the equivalent to a gazillion.

I call it the Gazillion Concept.

Perfect Examples…

Loads of Laundry.


Times you get up at night to let the dog out.

The number of instances in one week your kids miss the damned bus.

Pounds you need to lose.

Kids at a sleepover, in the same room, in a car, at the same table or simply on the same planet.

Mosquito bites.

Calories in anything chocolate or fried.

Miles over the speed limit when you’re teaching your pedal heavy 16 year oldĀ to drive.

Drops of pee your boys leave on the toilet seat.

Dog hairs on your black pants.

Dollar profit margin Hollister is swindling you for.

Teenaged girls.

Minutes until you get home when you have to pee.


Degrees below zero in the winter.

Days left in your pregnancy.


Hairs you missed while shaving your legs.

Days until your next period when you’re waiting for it.

Hours in a sleepless night.

Drops of puke expelled by kids and pets on the carpet at 3am.

Time after the first five minutes on the treadmill.

Grains of rice when it accidentally spills.


Days until vacation, retirement or the end of a work day.

Minutes you’re forced to listen to any given Justin Beiber song.


Summary- ANYTHING greater than one = equals a gazillion under the right circumstances.

The Gazillion Concept.

Seems logical.