Paranormal Activity for Pansies and Parents without Girls

 

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A movie review… sort of and an open letter to the makers of Paranormal Activity-Five.

 
Seriously??
 
 
Perhaps you Paranormal movie making people could benefit from a field trip to my home.
 
 
No charge.
 
 
My two girls share the same menstrual cycle… and quite frankly, the catching-the-bus-scene in my home on any given Monday morning rivals the hell outta the infamous puke scene from the Exorcist.
 
 
Furthermore…
 
 
Never ever fuck with the dog. That just pisses me off.
 
 
*Not a spoiler. I’m pretty sure the dog didn’t die.
 
 
Who could tell. I was bored and only like half paying attention.
 
 
I mean…
 
 
Did you guys even try??
 
 
 
2012-10-27
 
 
My favorite part was definitely the previews of Channing Tatum in the new Jump Street movie. That can’t suck because he’s in it, so at the very least you get 90 minutes of feel good chemicals flowing warmly through your grey matter and other places.
 
 
Plus popcorn.
 
 
Two thumbs down Paranormal people. I have GIRLS, you can’t scare me.
 
 
Ps- If you need ideas, please feel free to message me.
 
 
popcorn and movie
 

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Extreme Mom Movie Review- Man of Steel

Extreme Mom Movie Review- Man of Steel

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Forget that Superman’s a solid chunk of hunk.

The real question here is… “What kind of SUPER make-up does Lois Lane wear that doesn’t smudge, run or wear off through hurricane speed winds, explosions and trips to another planet?

Inquiring minds want to know.

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I want to know dammit, and I’m not even a huge user of make up. I usually wear only enough so that I don’t scare the ever-living-Hell out of anybody, but that’s it.

It’s kind of a public service.

Without spoiling the movie, let’s just say Lois popped out of every single near-death experience with glossy lips and eyes you only see on a BRAT’s doll or perhaps the lovely ladies who reside at the psych center.

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Tip- If you ever want to see makeup in it’s full glory, visit your local psych center. I’m fairly certain that there’s a tube of vibrant lipstick in every bottle of Prozac.

Kinda like Cracker Jacks except better.

I believe it’s entirely feasible that Superman can fly faster than a speeding bullet and bend steel with his pinky finger, but Lois’s perfect makeup… I don’t think so.

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I call cosmetic bull-shittery.

I can only give Man of Steel one thumbs up on account of this blatant beauty flub up.

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