Skinny Wrap Adventures


I’m doing IT right now.
Yesterday, I drank half my body weight in ounces of water, which is somewhere between the capacity of an olympic sized swimming pool and one of the Great Lakes.
Floating- check.

Today, I wrapped my retired baby supporting mid-section in miracle wrap that’s actually called the Ultimate Body Applicator by IT WORKS.


This is gonna take some work, because my incubator is still in prime baby protecting mode. Protecting four babies is serious business, so naturally I have a bit of bubble wrap to evict.


Here goes…
It’s goey, cool and tingly and you’re supposed to wear it for 45 minutes.
Tic tock.
I’m already past the two hour point because I REALLY want my pants to NOT hurt anymore.
Plus, I have a love triangle going with chocolate and pizza.
I may not EVER take it off. It’s not like I’m gonna turn invisible, right?
Incidentally, INVISIBLE would be an awesome super power for mom’s to have.




I can kinda see the teeny little guys  diligently shoveling away my belly fat under the wrap.

Interrupting them would be rude, so I’m just gonna let them keep on sculpting while I do my errands.
Is it okay to put Saran Wrap over this thingamajig, because I don’t want it to fall off in the bank or anything.

Also, I regret throwing out all of my granny panties that go all the way up to your boobs.
They would of provided perfect coverage.

I could steal one of the boys whitey tighties, but NO they both wear boxers, which is probably for the best because then I’d have to write a note on my belly (in case I get in an accident) that says- “Area under construction. Please pardon the mess.”

Also, “These are not my normal underwear you creepy EMS guy!”

I settled for a pretty tight camisole with a cardigan over it (even though it’s 80 degrees).
This way those shoveler guys will get hotter and work faster so I will let them come up for air.
I’m ready for an UNeventful trip wearing my skinny wrap secretly concealed under my clothing.
I’m not gonna lie, I kinda feel like a secret agent wearing a wire.

Let’s go…


PS- Here’s a link to my Fairy Godmother… I mean distributor.