Extreme Driving Adventures- Testosterone Behind the Wheel

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Let’s face it… teenage boys behind the wheel of any vehicle that isn’t

a self propelled red and yellow plastic Fred Flintstone car is frightening shit.

 

Teaching my, now licensed 17 year old to drive last year was an experience that had my already-questionable-sanity hanging by the fiber of a frayed thread… which continues to weaken every. single. time. I hand him the keys.

 

No doubt, those smelly green Christmas tree air fresheners should be available in xanax scent- exclusively for parents and/or mental patients.

 

The air freshener people would make a killing.

 

It seems like a no brainer, yet to this day I’ve been unable to locate a single anti-anxiety scented air freshener for sale on ALL of the inter webs.

 

Go figure.

 

The following driving tales were scribbled in holy water written while I was up to my eyeballs in adventure last year, teaching Big Kahunas to drive.

 

Big Kahunas nickname is explained somewhere in the smoking wreckage.

 

Fasten your seatbelt and read on…

 

Dumb Shit my Son Says…

Big Kahunas

Cruising in the Jesus-mobile

Testosterone Powered Jackass

 

 

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Hang on to your Butt- Teen Driver!!

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Dear People who make cars,

I have a very brilliant idea I’d like to submit for your approval.

You are welcome ahead of time.

It’s called…

The Taser Gas Pedal and it’s likely to be unanimously coveted by parents and insurance companies everywhere.

 If you haven’t already figured out the obvious, the gas pedal tasers the 16 year old boy or whomever may be drivings foot when he exceeds the speed limit.

I added “or whomever may be driving” to the above because some 50 year old men are still little boys in race cars.

Zroom zroom!

Damn right I said HE.

No mistake there.

An evil clown will also pop out of the visor and smack the overconfident driver upside-the-head if when he doesn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign… or for pretty much any reason at all.

 

untitledclown

There are many more innovative ideas where these gems came from.

I’m headed over to my LinkedIn profile right now to add…

Connoisseur of Creative Ideas that are Awesome.