Social Media… The Modern-day Big Bad Wolf

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Reason #2 Zillion- Why it totally sucks to be a teenager in TODAY’S society-

Social networking.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

Everybody has one.

Your friends friends business is in YOUR face as soon as you log on.

Blame the six degrees of separation theory– the theory that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of “a friend of a friend” statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps. (As defined by the all-knowing Wikipedia)

Possibly the age of too much information.

A detailed photo replay of the entire event that you weren’t invited to is delivered directly to YOUR iPhone through your friends friends.

Unintentional thoughtfulness or something like that.

Of course a person has the right to invite whomever they chose to their social functions.

Exclusion just stings a tad more when it’s publicized.

It’s the new frosty era of IN. YOUR. FACE.

It’s ironic that teenage girls, the world’s most overly-sensitive creatures can also be the coldest and most insensitive.

I’d rather shovel cow manure with my bare hands than have to endure the social injustices of being a teenager in today’s society.

As parents, we’re helpless spectators obligated to relive and endure every excruciating moment.

It sucks.

If I had one wish, it would be to change bodies with my teen like Anna in Freaky Friday.

Mean girls beware.

I would set things straight.

Payback would certainly be a bitch for a select few.

A mom can dream…

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Queen Bee Hierarchy

 

The Queen Bee’s

Once upon a time, there were three elementary school kingdoms.

ALL of the little girl bees in each of the kingdoms were friends. 

They played Barbies and went to each others sleepover parties.

Their troubles were few.

Then one day, the three separate kingdoms were forced to join together as one junior high hive.

There had always been THREE Queen Bee’s, but the new kingdom needed just ONE.

Also, the Queen would only need a handful of special attendants for her court.

Everyone’s social standing was now uncertain.

Insecurities were flying. The bees were nervous.

Why not just coexist as one happy hive?

Nope, the bees had a lot of nervous energy to channel, so they decided to fight to the death, to be chosen as one of the ELITE.

Stinging the other bees was a swift way to thin out the competition.

It was also an excellent outlet for their nervousness and insecurity.

With the almighty tool of Social Networking they could actually keep their mean-a-thon active 24/7 using Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

Awesome.

Whoever posts the most pics or has the most interaction with the Queen Bee wins.

Easy peasy.

*Fall all over the Queen and do everything in your power to make sure nobody gets near her. Check.

*Block and snub the Queens former friends. Check.

*Make sure they’re not invited to any photo opportunities that will cost you Instagram points. Check.

It’s not a pretty competition.

The bees will be buzzing and stinging for four or more years.

It’s no longer about friendship and fun.

It’s all about social standing.

There is no happy ending here.

The bees will be well into their 20’s before they realize they were venomous little insects.

As a mother bee, I’m tempted to get out the fly swatter and a can of Raid.

I’m TAGGING every mother bee I know from my school district in this post, so that they may be mindful and watchful.

Clip your girls stingers when they leave the house.

Talk to them.

Have them read this.

Signed, The Orkin Mom

PS- Boys, are exempt from this post.

Boys are like fat lazy house flies.

You can find them rolling around in garbage and/or buzzing around your food.

Most importantly, they hardly ever bite.

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