My Snarky Two Cents on the Transformation of Caitlyn Jenner

I neither applaud nor condemn Brucelyn’s decision to waltz around in ladies underwear, and I’m not anti-transgender, anti-transvestite or anti-gay. My boys were encouraged to wear their sisters tutu’s, polish their nails and play with a baby dolls of varying races that were purchased by me. I’m a cool open-minded mom like that.

To each his own and it’s important to respect that.

<for those of you iliterate in humor the snark starts here>

I suppose it’s human nature for people to desire what they don’t have. For example, it seems that girls with curly hair are constantly trying to straighten their locks and vice versa. This may also be true for filthy rich dormant celebrities. After all, they’re only human.

Like, if you already have a million dollars, a gold medal and a penis, naturally you’d long for a vagina to shine in the spot light… or something like that.

There’s also the neglected kid phenomena – where the smartest, best looking or most successful member of the family gets all the (media) attention, possibly encouraging other family members to morph into a sparkly pink unicorn in an effort to steal some precious lime light for themselves. We’ll call it The Jan Brady Syndrome.

“Yeah, why does Marcia (Kim) get everything? Marcia! (Kim), Marcia! (Kim), Marcia! (Kim)!”

I’m not discrediting his decision. Yay for anyone who deliberately scales large hurdles to embrace their true inner self. Caitlyn Jenner’s example definitely provides encouragement and support for that particular demographic. It’s finally okay to be who you feel you REALLY are and to Hell with societies opinion. Your happiness is paramount and I applaud this.

However, my snarky alter-ego still feels compelled to poke at Brucelyn with a pointy stick.

Poke. Poke.

Did I poke at Chaz Bono? Hell no, I’ve always loved her and she’s not a showboating Kardashian with a K… that’s why. My sarcasm is exclusively intended for Mister-loves-the-limelight-Kardashian.

Let’s not forget that the subject is a self-appointed reality TV celebrity, which qualifies his life as FAIR GAME to any and all scrutiny.

Let the roasting begin.

The reality TV life is based on public opinion, ratings, hype and sensationalism. I firmly believe this 3 ring drag circus created by Mr. Khardashian is about Brucelyn and Brucelyn alone. He’s enjoying this newfound tidal wave of attention. He did not step out of Victoria’s closet on an exclusive quest to help others. Any form of activism resulting from his runway charade is purely a secondary perk.

He’s spent enough money to feed a village in a third world country for over a year on his facial surgery budget alone. And, yet he still has his family jewels.

Wait. What? You thought he wanted to be a female. Me too. My understanding of male/female sexual gender is 100% based on the presence of particular sex organs. Females have vaginas and males have penises. Period. It’s that simple. A penis can dress in a bustier and ball gown, but that does not make them any more female by definition — in the biological sense. This is why I wholeheartedly support the notion that penises use the men’s room and females use the vag-atory. If you haven’t noticed, those rooms have specially designed waste receptacles to accommodate the micturation process based on whether the individual has an inny or an outty.

<addendum- I’ve been informed by the transgender community that “bottom surgery” is typically performed last. Point noted.>

Getting back to the topic at hand, Brucelyn made the decision to extensively reconstruct his face and pose for the world before altering his sex organs because this is about Brucelyn’s appearance. He wants us to stop and take notice of his newfound beauty. Look at me.

Let’s not confuse the next generation folks.

Penis = male. Vagina = female
It is what it is – in the literal anatomical sense. How a person choses to portray themselves is an entirely different issue that falls in the immense grey area of… anything goes. Just because society has created and marketed official politically correct etiquette for the transgender society does not mean we’re obligated to conform by referring to any given individual with a penis as a HER. I’ve been an RN for over two decades and if I am assigned to completing your admission history and physical, I will circle the designated sex as male for anyone bearing a penis. Done deal. It is however possible that if one of my friends requested to be referred to by the opposite sex due to gender identification issues, I may or may not comply. It depends on the situation.

My point is that as long as there’s a penis tucked inside the lacy purple thong he’s still biologically a he.

Society can designate whatever politically correct verbiage they choose and people are free to parade as whomever they choose, but ultimately the sex organ defines gender proper.

Trust me, there are many days that I have species identification crisis and wish very badly that I had been born feline. Every fiber of my being yearns to curl up in a warm sunny spot and sleep all day. I can feel it in every cell of my body. I hate being cold and wet. My demeanor and attitude is innately and indisputably feline. “You want me to do WHAT? I don’t think so. I am almighty cat.”

It’s possible that I’m being a tad bit insensitive to Brucelyn but there are so many red flags on my moral radar that it’s difficult to ignore his self-centeredness. .

Make no mistake, this is about him. It is incidental that the transexual community is reaping the benefits of his celebrity PR.

Gender identification issues are serious indisputably real issues and EVERYONE suffering from the same deserves validation, empathy and unconditional acceptance.

The media however is attempting to sell the public a sweet fragrant bouquet of bullshit. “They called her Caitlyn and she lived happily ever after.”

Society is attempting to shame the public into supporting him or risk being called a bigot. Let’s hold hands and toss tulip pedals in support of one mans struggle.

To me, Brucelyn’s frivolous expenditures are not only over-the-top, but unattainable and unrealistic for most of society. So, yeah I have a hard time hailing his heroism. Sure he’s brave for going public, but so am I for getting out of bed every day, going to work and taking care of a family when I suffer from sometimes debilitating depression. I’m not looking for sympathy or attention. You do what you have to do and life goes on.

He’s not all that.

The Vanity Fair images bothers me mostly because his newfound image is nothing more than an optical illusion created by plastic surgeons and photoshop.

The emphasis and attention have been called to his likeness. It’s all about appearance. A message I cannot condone as I believe our outer shell is not an accurate reflection of our actual being.

Maybe, the VF cover accurately portrays who Brucelyn now thinks he is, but that physical image is so incredibly altered it has absolutely no credibility in supporting claims suggesting that he’s a truth-seeking hero.

He’s an attention-seeking Kardashian. That is all.

Breakfast food for thought.

Wheaties… Fruity Pebbles, whatever.

Addendum – I predictably received record-breaking hate mail for the above post. <insert applause here>

Mostly from Sally Sunshine types who placed Jenner on a tall pedestal reserved for societal hero’s (who may or may not be washed out celebrities exploiting a specific demographic for their own selfish embetterment.)

The general consenus believing that he is indeed an HONEST selfless person who is a role model to be ACCEPTED and even commended by society. In other words, everyone not jumping on the politically correct sensitivity wagon will have a BIGOT stamp placed directly on their forehead. 

In addition to having my forehead stamped, I was REMOVED and BANNED from a popular mom websites blogger group without being awarded a chance to present my rebuttal to their onslaught of disparaging comments. Talk about intolerance.

Fuck those sugar-coated societal suck-ups. Popularity is over-rated.

Anyway, most recently, higher than thou Jenner appeared on Ellen and had the audasity to state that he holds TRADITIONAL values when it comes to marriage – meaning a man and a woman. He went on to suggest that gay marriages do not merit the verbiage MARRIAGE, but he would comply as not to step on anyones toes.

Ellen was not pleased.

This is the perfect example of a person who believes there are two moral codes – one for them and another for the rest of society.

So, once again – Hell NO I won’t unconditionally support his bullshit if he won’t accept others.

Fuck no, Bruce.