Father, please forgive me.
It’s been I-don’t-know… two-ish weeks since my last blog post.
Life’s been batshit crazy!
I’m pretty sure I don’t have to confess using the word BATSHIT because it’s an actual THING.
Bats do in fact shit.
Had I said goddamned batshit crazy, that would’ve been an entirely different story because God does not like that shit.
Now to change gears and transform this post into an EXCUSE.
The kind of excuse kids are required to bring to school when they’re sick that I absolutely detest writing.
Most of the time I just want to tell the school that it’s none of their damned business why my kid was absent.
I’m a nurse and a blogger. They’re gonna be damned sorry if I start describing the precise characteristics of gooey green snot or say the consistency of puke chunks.
Trust me on this.
So, please excuse Gina from doing her blogger homework because she started a new job and has been batshit crazy busy since September.
During this time I took a much needed break to attend Scare-a-con.
I’m not gonna lie. I’m feeling kinda hipster now that I’ve attended an actual CON.
Since this is a catch up post and for smoother easier reading, I’m going to attempt to abbreviate and use incomplete sentences as much as possible.
Long reads can be painful.
Whatinthehell’s Scare-a-Con you ask?
It’s a crazy fun convention busting with horror movie memorabilia, nerds cosplaying as their favorite monsters, where celebrities from frightening films hang out, shoot the shit and sign autographs.
A completely awesome scary dork-fest.
I took photos of a few celebs and hell no I didn’t pay for them because Extreme Mom doesn’t pay anyone for a lousy photo opportunity.
This nurse happens to know that they’re guts are just as gross as our guts on the inside. Also, their poop DOES in fact stink.
I’m not the autograph collecting type either, but I did get this autographed photo for my DAUGHTER by Lisa Loring (Wednesday from the Adams Family) simply because my daughter dressed like her one Halloween and not because she aspires to be a (alleged) porn star.
You heard THAT one rumor too?
I can’t confirm it, since I’m not an adult film enthusiast, but if I had to guess, I’d go with likely.
Call it a gut feeling.
“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky… ”
Enter Cousin It.
Fun fact- His name is Felix Silla and he also played an adorable Ewok in Star Wars.
Very cool pint-sized man.
When I initially walked up to his table he wasn’t there, so wiseass me lifted the table skirt and said…” YOUUUUU HOUU Are you under there?”
Of course he walked up right behind me at that exact moment.
I’m a Cousin It Bully and I’m going to Hell. Again.
So far I’m doing several life sentences.
Here’s my friend Deb learning how to use Cousin It’s camera so she can take a pic of him and fake Freddie Krueger.
He probably asked HER and not me on account of I bully short people plagued with perpetual bad hair days.
This here’s a photo of the Ghost Buster guys back. There was a very long line to see him. I suspect his GB canisters spray chocolate, xanax or marijuana. Otherwise, he’s JUST your run-of-the-mill Ghost Buster who gets to carry rad equipment on his back and toast ginormous marshmallows for fun.
I guess I’m a teeny bit jealous of the equipment part.
Here’s the back of the little twerpy guy who played ALL the Oompa Loompas in the new Willy Wonka film.
What… They couldn’t afford to pay more than ONE guy, so they cloned him to make him look like a herd of identical Oompa Loompas?
Big fat LAME-O move on the movie producers behalf. They were probably too busy doing dark hallucinogenic drugs with Tim Burton.
*Not to be confused with the groovy colorful drugs Gene Wilder probably did with Charlie Bucket’s grandfather in the original film. Those drugs were clearly superior in every possible way.
Hell, they even cured grandpa from being totally bedridden to performing airborne somersaults in the Fizzy-lifting drinks corridor in under 90 minutes.
Anyhow, the dark replacement guy named Deep Roy seemed kinda grumpy and/or slightly pompous, so I didn’t grace him with the pleasure of speaking to me.
My brain feels it’s necessary to blurt out right now that Deep Roy would make a righteous porn star name.
Once again, this can’t be confirmed.
It’s official that I’m an admitted bully of short people.
I don’t know what inthehell gets into me.
Forgive me Father…
Anyway, truth be told, I like the orange faced guys with green hair way better.
*Note- when I originally wrote this post, I wrote PURPLE hair and then I was like… Holy Shit! Their hair is actually GREEN!!
Maybe Deep Roy was grumpy because he got pulled outta the chocolate factory unexpectedly and he was in chocolate withdrawal.
THAT I can understand, because I get grumpy when that happens too.
Cool guy. You could definitely party hardy with this dude.
However, EM pays to photograph no one, so here’s a nice unauthorized pic of him not knowing he’s being stalked.
In Butch’s defense, I’m certain he’s the kind of guy who’d shoot the shit with just about anyone, buy you a beer and/or pass you a dooby.
We had a pretty detailed conversation about Puff n’ Stuff and Lidsville, so I partially rest my case.
Moving right along.
The adorable kid from the scary Chucky movie Childs Play.
Interesting fact- my brothers name is Chucky and I’m waaaay scarier than him. I call this having the estrogen advantage.
I’ve never actually seen the entire Chucky movie, but I’m a new fan because grown up Alex Vincent is freaking edible adorable.
I don’t want to roll around in the hay with him. I just want to hang him on my wall and look at his cutie face.
It’s entirely possible that I’m a failed cougar.
Also, I’d like to cuddle him like a stuffed animal.
Probably, after one (teaspoon of) beer I’d change my mind about the rolling-around-in-the-hay thing.
Women are allowed to change their minds as often or more than men rearrange their wieners. It’s some kind of rule (that I just made up)
Here’s me being very well behaved in a free photo of us that he probably has hanging over his bed.
And here’s our unofficial marriage certificate. ❤
Fun Fact- Alex Vincent writes beautiful poetry. You can view his creative artist page here.
He is totally happening in the here and now.
Pitter patter my <3.
Kiss my what??
Ace Frehley from Kiss was also there. I guess because he looks über scary without makeup.
I can totally relate to that.
He had like a gazillion body guards and was partitioned off in an isolated corner all by his badass self.
Here’s what I think of him. I like Kiss and yes I’ve downloaded a few of their songs onto my iPod for free, but I may or may not pass him toilet paper if he was in the next stall stranded.
I don’t have any unauthorized photos of him because I didn’t want to waste my cell phone battery.
However, here’s one of him and my drum playing rocker friend Dave who did pay for a photo because he’s a fellow rocker musician guy. I’m posting this so Dave gets his money out of this particular investment. I’m an excellent friend like that.
For the record, my friend is the good looking one of the pair.
Last and certainly not least is Linda Blair best known as Regan the head-spinning, pea soup barfing pajama clad chick from the Exorcist.
In real life I mean.
Her present mission is a righteous canine rescue organization called Linda Blair WorldHeart Foundation. Here’s the link. http://www.lindablairworldheart.org
You can follow her on Facebook as well. https://www.facebook.com/LindaBlairWorldHeartFoundation
Linda tours with the creepy con movement to spread the word about animal abuse and to raise funds for her canine rescue organization.
Righteous mission. Bravo!!
She also authored a book called Going Vegan.
I bought her book for my 19 y/o son who went vegan over the past year for essentially the same reasons, hoping he’ll pick up a few nutritional pointers and possibly expand his sorry diet to something beyond peanut butter and jelly.
As you can see, she’s a beautiful woman inside and out who cleans up exceptionally well.
Other fun facts about the Scary Con.
*Beer tastes better through a straw.
*If you sell extra uber SALTY-as-hell nachos, people will drink more beer (out of a straw), become tipsy and buy more overpriced useless shit that they definitely don’t need.
*You can renew your CPR certification right there and not hurt anyone because all the patients are already unliving.
Here’s me polishing up my life saving skills.
As you can see, I remain cool as a cucumber in fake emergency situations.
Kill two corpses in one afternoon and get extra continuing ed. credit for work.
Not a bad deal.
*Also, the guy dressed as Michael Meyers from Halloween will not agree to take a photo with YOU holding the knife no matter how nicely you ask. I guess he doesn’t want to look like a wussy in front of his badass monster friends.
I guess I can respect that, although it would’ve made an AWESOME Extreme Mom Halloween profile pic.
Happy Fall Y’all.
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Bonus- Tampon Ghost from the Extreme Mom craft archives.