I’ve been nominated for the “Shine on” award by Iamtomnardone.
Much thanks to Tom, who’s without a doubt, one of the most hilarious bloggers I follow. This guy tickles my funny bone every. single. time. Scratch that. He makes me snort and lose my breath when I laugh.
Snorting and losing your breath are clearly the BEST types of laughter.
If you’ve never tried that kind of laughing, you should.
Onward to all things shimmering and shiny. I love shiny things.
The rules to accepting the “Shine On” award are these-
*Post the “Shine On” award on your blog. Here it is. * Shining*
So, here goes…
Seven (or 15) Random Facts about ME
1. Wine almost killed me. I’m highly allergic to wine which totally sucks rotten grapes. By killed I mean like damned-near-died. My throat swells and I have difficulty breathing- so I’m FORCED to drink either tequila or chocolate Martini’s.
I’ve always wanted to go on one of those fancy shmancy winery tours too… but I’m like the pathetic kid in the classroom who can’t have peanuts.
Although, I’d much rather be allergic to wine than peanuts because…
2. I like chocolate peanutbutter icecream better than sex.
3. Also, I’m not skinny due to #2. Go figure.
4. I’m lactose intolerant (self diagnosed) but I don’t give a rats ass when it comes to icecream, because chocolate peanutbutter icecream is better than sex. I birthed four children for Gods sake. What’s a little gas and severe crippling abdominal pain? The answer is- no biggie- totally worth it.
*Peanutbutter and icecream are each ONE word, says ME. Auto correct keeps trying to FIX it. Auto correct can bite me. EM has spoken.
5. I have an incredibly cute two year old dog who’s not housebroken. In dog years, that’s like a 14 year old boy peeing on the chair leg. I still love every dumb bone in his body.
6. I adamantly believe that Bigfoot exists.
7. I’ve never had anything published on Freshly Pressed (WordPress) or Blogher and I’m not even a teensy fucking bit bitter at those assholes.
8. I have absolutely no idea what my real hair color is.
I’m pretty interesting, plus I’m a rebel from way back who likes to make up my own rules, so I’m going to REVERSE the required data for this award…
I’ll post 15 facts about myself and nominate seven bloggers, because I’m a big fan of short cuts and this is an easy out.
9. I call my cat That-goddamned-cat, because he’s an asshole and I don’t enjoy his company. Also, he has this thing where he bites my toes. I thought mutherfucking-cat was a bit too harsh, so I went with That-goddamned-cat.
10. I despise Christmas. It’s a bullshit commercial holiday of obligation. It’s like siphoning blood out of a stone, except this holiday steals time and money that I do not have. I want to beat the ever living hell out of the Grinch and occasionally Santa Clause.
11. I’ve been married for a gazillion, I mean 22 years. Ironically, my hubinator does not read my blog nor does he appreciate my sense of humor. The only thing I can surmise, is that God deliberately put me on this earth to torture him. I absolutely excel in this field.
Ditto for my kids on the sense of humor thing.
13. Favorite TV show- The Haunting. I fucking love ghosts. I’m obsessed.
I only watch TV when the ghosts tell me to, which usually equates to every once in awhile.
15. This blog was started unintentionally (I was entered in The Circle of Moms Top 25 Funniest Moms Contest by a fb reader- the blog was a requirement. No regrets) It just turned six months old.
Happy Birthday and where’s my damned cake and chocolate peanutbutter icecream??
It also writes itself. I simply lend my fingers for tapping the keyboard. It’s simply a purging of brain clutter.
The SEVEN nominees are-
It’s totally up to you whether or not you chose to SHINE ON or not.
Some people simply… “Ain’t got no time fo dat.”
You’re SHINY to me. Xoxo