I’m doing IT right now.
Yesterday, I drank half my body weight in ounces of water, which is somewhere between the capacity of an olympic sized swimming pool and one of the Great Lakes.
Today, I wrapped my retired baby supporting mid-section in miracle wrap that’s actually called the Ultimate Body Applicator by IT WORKS.
It’s goey, cool and tingly and you’re supposed to wear it for 45 minutes.
I’m already past the two hour point because I REALLY want my pants to NOT hurt anymore. Plus, I have a love triangle going with chocolate and pizza. I may not EVER take it off. It’s not like I’m gonna turn invisible, right?
Incidentally, INVISIBLE would be an awesome super power for mom’s to have.
I can kinda see the teeny little guys diligently shoveling away my belly fat under the wrap.
Interrupting them would be rude, so I’m just gonna let them keep on sculpting while I do my errands.
Is it okay to put Saran Wrap over this thingamajig, because I don’t want it to fall off in the bank or anything.
Also, “These are not my normal underwear you creepy EMS guy!”
I settled for a pretty tight camisole with a cardigan over it (even though it’s 80 degrees).
This way those shoveler guys will get hotter and work faster so I will let them come up for air.
I’m ready for an UNeventful trip wearing my skinny wrap secretly concealed under my clothing.
I’m not gonna lie, I kinda feel like a secret agent wearing a wire.