Golden Girls NEWSFLASH!!

I was half watching the show last night, because the TV was on that particular station and I was too lazy to change it.

Q. How old is Betty White’s CHARACTER?

A. Answer at the end of post, because first we MUST define the term Golden when referring to age.

Yes, we do.

I always categorized the delightful ditzy trio as having a little too much pep for the nursing home, yet definitely UP there in age.

On deck to meet their maker.

Golden years = Retirement age.

No?

Sit down.

Betty White’s character is a spry 55 years old.

She’s practically a baby for fucks sake.

Has the expected lifespan of a human gone up THAT much since the 80’s??

I’m touching my 50’s with a short stick and it’s not a cane, dammit!

I’m not gonna lie, I sucked in a whole bunch of air when that little tidbit was thrown out there and I remain slightly bewildered.

I mean… my uterus hasn’t even been decommissioned yet.

Is there no respite between pregnant and dead?

I’m torn between shopping for jobs and coffins.

What to do?

Actually, I want to be cremated and dumped in the South Pacific (*Note- If i’m left in a cold body of water there WILL be a haunting) so my accommodations actually only require a ziplock bag, but coffin sounded way better than ziplock bag, so I ran with it.

How old did YOU assume these ladies were??