You wanna piece of me??


This cardboard cake guy is an asshole.
He scares the bejesus outta me every time I round that particular corner in the grocery store.
To make matters worse, the store constantly relocates him like Esmeralda from Bewitched.
You just never know where he’s gonna show up.
POOF!! There he is.
POOF!! It’s HIM again.
You just can’t shake him.
I’m pretty sure they’re screwing with me and there’s actually a hidden camera up his right nostril and probably the store workers are ROFLAO in the break room making fun of startled shoppers who are me.
I wouldn’t mind so much, if they’d at least give you some cake, but NOOOOOO it’s fake cake.
By “Want a piece of me?” They are NOT actually offering you a slice of delicious cake. They’re wondering if you want to kick his ass.
Why YES. Yes, I do!!
Also, I think he’s the cake boss guy from TV, because it says so on his baking costume, which is also PERFECT because my cakes come from that exact spot… in the store.
Like a boss.

2 thoughts on “You wanna piece of me??

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