Redunkulous Resume Writing for FUN Idiot’s…

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To Whom it may concern,

THIS is the obligatory cover letter that everyone hates to write.

Need a job.

I’d pretty much kick ass at any of the jobs listed below…

*Namer of crayons, paint or nail polish colors

*Pet or human psychic (I just know things)

*Mediator of Fb drama (references on my personal page)

*Creator of fun new toys… for CHILDREN

*Dear Abby, but with a different spicier name that isn’t Abby

* Decoupage Artist (my dream is to cover an automobile or a house, possibly the WHITE house, because BLAH… white)

*Photographer of difficult subjects (pets, kids, sharks, Bigfoot’s)

*Hole digger for planting flowers and definitely not bodies (I love playing in the dirt)

*Person who calms down mad or crazy persons (I’m very good at this. It’s a gift)

*Chocolate taster or tester (Either or both)

*Teller of fun outrageous stories (I didn’t say WRITER, because I obviously have no respect for proper grammar and sentence structure, so I made up a new title)

*Cheerleader (the yelling-jumping-up&down-like-a-maniac part NOT wearer of teeny uniform. No duh)

*Person who sticks her neck out for the underdog (leaving this one WIDE open. I love a good ethical crusade) or we could just watch the cartoon.

*Provider of CPR, but only if you’re definitely going to croak AND you promise not to puke in my mouth.

*Voice actor. (I’m thinking… laugh tracks)

*Remover of unwanted creatures- Includes but is not limited to bats, snakes, birds, mice and alligators.
(I’m an Animal Planet junkie who’s afraid of nothing. <–Not counting Tarantula’s. Regular spiders are okay. Large fuzzy ones, not so much.

*Person who wastes time on the Internet instead of cleaning, grocery shopping and/or writing resume….

BINGO.

We have a winner.

I think that finishes it off.

The End.

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5 thoughts on “Redunkulous Resume Writing for FUN Idiot’s…

  1. LOL!!!! Good luck on finding the “PERFECT” job to encompass all of your resume listings….I may need a “friend” in high places someday!!!

    Like

  2. Dear Remover of Unwanted Creatures,
    We are in receipt of your resume. Our current position requires removal of a TUS (tarantula of unusual size) which is contaminated by asbestos. [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/arachnophobes-look-away-now-could-an-asbestos-contaminated-tarantula-be-on-the-loose-in-cardiff-8544532.html] Please let us know when you are available.
    Yours,
    England

    Like

    • *BIG smile!!* When I initially read the link I did a big gasp, because FUZZY tarantula. Eek. However, he’s an endearing teddy-bear kinda fuzzy, so yes, I’d be happy to track him down wearing full hazmat gear.

      England is something like 3,400 miles off the beaten path for me though, which could be a bit of a deal breaker. Although, I hear you have Special Edition Peanut butter Kit Kat bars over there, so I’m totally considering it.

      On the positive side, these fuzzy guys only live something like 15 years and there’s a teensy chance he just celebrated his 14 3/4 year birthday. Or not…

      Like

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