To Whom it may concern,
THIS is the obligatory cover letter that everyone hates to write.
Need a job.
I’d pretty much kick ass at any of the jobs listed below…
*Namer of crayons, paint or nail polish colors
*Pet or human psychic (I just know things)
*Mediator of Fb drama (references on my personal page)
*Creator of fun new toys… for CHILDREN
*Dear Abby, but with a different spicier name that isn’t Abby
* Decoupage Artist (my dream is to cover an automobile or a house, possibly the WHITE house, because BLAH… white)
*Photographer of difficult subjects (pets, kids, sharks, Bigfoot’s)
*Hole digger for planting flowers and definitely not bodies (I love playing in the dirt)
*Person who calms down mad or crazy persons (I’m very good at this. It’s a gift)
*Chocolate taster or tester (Either or both)
*Teller of fun outrageous stories (I didn’t say WRITER, because I obviously have no respect for proper grammar and sentence structure, so I made up a new title)
*Cheerleader (the yelling-jumping-up&down-like-a-maniac part NOT wearer of teeny uniform. No duh)
*Person who sticks her neck out for the underdog (leaving this one WIDE open. I love a good ethical crusade) or we could just watch the cartoon.
*Provider of CPR, but only if you’re definitely going to croak AND you promise not to puke in my mouth.
*Voice actor. (I’m thinking… laugh tracks)
*Remover of unwanted creatures- Includes but is not limited to bats, snakes, birds, mice and alligators.
(I’m an Animal Planet junkie who’s afraid of nothing. <–Not counting Tarantula’s. Regular spiders are okay. Large fuzzy ones, not so much.
*Person who wastes time on the Internet instead of cleaning, grocery shopping and/or writing resume….
We have a winner.
I think that finishes it off.